Although I don’t find her that hot, some of the looks she gives the camera are dead sexy!  I have to give her some props.

Take it easy this time Richard! Last time you gave me a splinter

Richard and Gina will show us how it is done.  And as always, I will provide commentary on why this position is popular with all the lovers out there.  So it looks like our lovely couple is ready to kick off the first position.

Position 1: Missionary With Ladies Legs Up
This position is very common amongst couples.  With the woman resting on her back, she places her legs either straight up in the air, wrapped around the neck, or resting on her male counterpart’s shoulders.  Guys with foot fetishes enjoy this position because it allows them to play with their woman’s toes.  Sorry but there are some people out there that like them some feet.  It isn’t exactly my cup of tea but hey its all good.  Some smooth operators usually like to place a thick pillow under back for elevation.  This slick tactic is for the lady’s benefit.  Some couples like this position because they can maintain constant eye contact.  Although sometimes that isn’t the best thing.  Especially if you are nailing a butterface.

Position 2: Just Spooning

Does your lady complain about not holding her after sex?  Well here is a great position for you to use.  With this position after you have done the good deed, you don’t have to move a muscle.  You just exit and continue to embrace your lover.  She will feel so loved.  This position is one that isn’t used that often.  Some women do not like it for a couple of reasons.  The first is because women feel that it is disrespectful to not look face to face with their partner.  The last thing you want your girl to feel like is a street walker that you met on the corner of Orange Blossom Trail.  Another reason women don’t like it is because you have some sneaky guys out there that try to pull the ol wrong hole trick.  Hey if your lady is into that then you have hit the jackpot.  This position isn’t too popular.  But if performed right it can be exciting.

Position 3: Giddy Up Cowgirl

C’mon and step right up to the mechanical bull.  Some ladies like to hop on and enjoy the rodeo.  This position certainly satisfies that urge.  Now please keep in mind that this position also has a variation in which your partner faces away from you.  The cowgirl position is often utilized by dominating women or guys that want to take a break from doing the work.  From what I have read, ladies also like this position because it stimulates the love zone.  But I think it just reminds them of hopping on those big bouncy balls when they were a kid.  I find this position to be entertaining because you can watch her boobs bounce like a person dribbling two basketballs.  Yes that is right,  I said it.  I don’t know about you but I will not argue when the lady wants to go for a ride.  You should always encourage people to ride the love roller coaster!

Position 4:  Canine Coitus

Who knew as humans that we would be taking a page from the playbook of our canine friends.  This position happens to be one of the popular ones.  Women either really hate this position or can’t get enough of it.  It takes a special kind of female to love this position.  Like the spoon position, ladies hate it because they feel like a working girl.  But most women overlook this feeling because of all the potential pleasure this position can bring.  Women who like it ruff… I mean rough find this style to be perfect.  The male (with the ladies permission) has access to so many things.  If she likes to be dominated, you can pull her hair or smack her ass.  If that isn’t in the script you can always grab her by the shoulders aka the handlebars.  The only warning I’d give is make sure that your bed is stationary or that you remove the headboard.

Position 5: Criss Cross

Words cannot even describe how challenging this next position is.  However if you think you have reached Ron Jeremy or John Holmes status then by all means give it a shot.  Just looking at Richard and Gina demonstrate this position just amazes me.  I mean it looks like a Auntie Anne’s pretzel.  You really have to get the right angle in order to make this work.  But I don’t want it to look like I am playing Twister. For some strange reason I am starting to cramp up just looking at Richard and Gina.  I also have that stupid Cha Cha song in my head.  Criss Cross… Criss Cross.. everybody clap your hands…

Well I think my work here is done.  Please make sure you vote for your favorite position.  I am curious to find out which one is the winner.

Looks Like Mike Davis Was Here!

What’s going on my black & perv-erts!  So I thought that I would start a signup sheet for one of our pub crawls.  For the few of you that listen to the show, you may recall Perv and I talking about doing a dive bar tour!  Well thanks to the genius of T, I believe we are trying to cook up a “Falling Out w/ Davis” Pub Crawl.  Since Perv is notorious for burning his bridges after abandoning his friends, we thought it would be good to have all of his friends together over booze and have one last falling out session.

So if you are interested please stay tuned to learn more.  I will talk it over with some folks and kick around some dates and there might even be t-shirts involved.  How could you say no to t-shirts?  If you have some ideas to bring to the table please leave a comment or email me at black@blackandperv.com.

Peace bitches!

Now if you are one of those people that has been asking me to be on the show, then consider this your opportunity.  So I better see some emails coming!  If I don’t hear from anybody then I will assume nobody wants to be on the show!

Nelly

You should definitely follow Maria on Twitter at twitter.com/mariamenounos.  Check her out on Access Hollywood.  That would be awesome if she became a fan of the Black and Perv Show on iTunes.  In the words of Kevin Garnett after winning the NBA Championship, “Anythings possssssssssssssssssssssssssssible!!”

So attention all ladies! If you are in the Orlando area and happen to be a fan of the Black and Perv Show, here is your opportunity to co-host. If you are interested in being on the Black and Perv Show please contact black@blackandperv.com for more info!

Many predicted an historic upset in the Massachusetts special election to fill the Senate seat left open by the death of Ted Kennedy. But Republican Scott Brown was not able to defeat Democratic candidate Martha Coakley. The election instead went to Yankees Suck, which earned 74-percent of the vote via write-in.

“When I got into the voting booth, I couldn’t vote for either of them. They both suck hard,” said Scott Haverford, a registered independent and Boston resident. “So I went with my heart. And my heart always says ‘Yankees Suck’.”

Millions of other Massachusetts voters apparently came to the same decision when it came time to choose.

“I didn’t like that Coakley ’cause she called Curt Schilling a Yankee, the bitch,” said Cindy O’Connell, a Democrat from South Boston. “But this Brown guy posed naked back in the ’80s. I don’t want no homosexual representing me in Washington, I know that much. So when it came down to it, it was Yankees Suck or Wes Welker. I flipped a coin and went Yankees Suck.”

“I was drunk when I voted and I can’t remember who I voted for,” said independent Billy O’Rourke. “But, yeah, that sounds like something I’d do.”

“Yankees suck!” said Kim Mitchell, a 16-year-old Worcester resident who is not old enough to vote and wasn’t asked about the election.

Now that Yankees Suck has been elected, Massachusetts lawmakers have to figure out how to fill the seat with the state’s favorite line.

“We could appoint someone to just vote ‘Yankees Suck’ on every bill in Washington,” said Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. “Or we could hold another special election between the several million Massachusetts residents who have ‘Yankees Suck’ as their middle name. We just don’t know right now. In fact, there’s only one thing I do know: Yankees suck!”

Perv and I are certainly going to celebrate this event on the next show! Stay tuned for the next episode of the Black and Perv Show!

If you would like to congratulate Black and Perv on 1000 downloads of our show then send in pictures or videos to black@blackandperv.com or perv@blackandperv.com!